TDNCY

I was waiting for my pickup at the Tampa Int’l Airport on Sunday following an academic conference when I realized that there are really a lot of smart people in the world. But, while I waited longer and longer at the airport, I realized, there are some situations that have a tendency to subtract 100 IQ points from these masses of smart people.
Here is a short list of things that I’ve realized that make Smart People Stupid.

#1) Baggage Claim – My bag is on a circular conveyor belt. If I miss it, I HAVE to trample 4 children, 2 grandparents, 3 dogs, and a professional boxer to grab it. MY BAG WILL NOT COME  BACK AROUND. What you don’t know is that there is an incinerator at the end of the conveyor and if you don’t grab your bag at first pass, it will be burned. Evidently smart people know this and act accordingly.

#2) Connecting a computer to an external display – Any kind of display: an LCD, a bigger monitor, etc. I’ve seen more people screw this up before, during, and after very academic presentations than I can count on 10 hands.

#3) Parallel parking – There is absolutely no reason why a smart person should not be able to parallel park. It’s very simple geometry. You put the rear end in, you follow with the front. Really, it’s just that easy.  Actually, I think I could say this about any part of driving.  Smart people suck at driving.

#4) Queuing to Board an Airplane and Deplaning – Okay smart people… you fly a lot.  People need you in places other than where you live. They need you because you’re smart.  Just so you know, for future reference, There’s a seat # on your boarding pass.  This is in reference to where you’re going to sit on the plane.  The nice lady is going to tell you what rows are boarding when over the loudspeaker. All you have to do is match that # to the range of numbers that she reads off.  Really simple. See!  Oh, and when it comes to getting off the plane, don’t be an asshole and try to run ahead of everyone else.  The door is closed. You’re not going ANYWHERE.

#5) Common Sense – Smart people suck at common sense.  I believe that this is where the term irony originated.  I can ask Professor Smith how to find the limit of the space time continuum and the true arithmetic center of a blackhole, but can this man change his oil? How about build a home? Yea, probably not.  The world needs ditch diggers too.

#6) Saving money/finanaces – There are more MDs with crappy credit than any other group of people I’ve ever seen.  Why does being smart make you fiscally irresponsible? Is it becuase you understand what you’re missing and spend irresponsibly? I don’t get it.  Crappy credit, it’s not just for dumb people anymore.

I’m sure there’s a lot of them here that I’m missing and I’ll add more as I think of them.

Lately at work I’ve been a bit, well, over-worked. After working 3 jobs through graduate school, obtaining a doctorate from Purdue University, passing my boards, applying for credentialing, and moving to Florida from Indiana away from my entire family, friends, and life as I knew it, I never thought I’d have more difficulty in my life. Welp, I was sorely mistaken.
Here are five things that instantly make my day better:
1) Cute girls. In general, but the Panera/Starbucks smiling faces usually instantly make my day better.
2) Dunkin’ Donuts coffee - really. This place is amazing and can make any garden variety, crappy day much more tolerable.
3) A lack of idiots/old people blocking my way to work – I don’t know what it is, but sometimes, I find every dumbass in the world and they’ve managed to find the 3 roads that I take to work and block my 9 mile, 20 minute commute and turn it into a den of road rage. I believe that my steering wheel has my finger shape permanently molded into it. When this doesn’t happen, I’m instantly in for a better day.
4) Hearing the song that I’m into at the time on my way to work, rolling down the windows, blaring the stereo and singing it at the top of my lungs. This guarantees a better day.
5) Talking to a friend that I haven’t heard from in awhile, out of the blue. There is nothing that makes me happier that talking to a friend. PS: call me if it’s been too long

Runners up: when my first patient of the day cancels their appointment, cracker barrel for breakfast, seeing a Purdue sports win in the morning paper.

How about you?

I can’t personally think of a better way to spend my time.

“Wayne, Did you ever find Bugs Bunny attractive when he put on a dress and played a girl bunny?”

To break the streak of dead-beat contributors here (Hoyt, I apologize to you), I thought I’d put together a listing of the movies that I fondly remember the most from my childhood. I’ll post as many video clips as I can find.

#1) The Goonies. Does this really require an explanation?

#2) The Wizard. Wow, this was obscure but the thought of getting across the desert to keep some guy’s powergloves off my lady friend was just the coolest thing ever. Not to mention this movie had ACTUAL LEVELS from the soon to be released Super Mario Brothers 3.

(continue reading…)

CNN appears to be quite enamored with new United States President Obama

Description: Tom Friend reports on Kevin Hart, a Nevada high school football player who publicly announced he would accept a scholarship to Cal, even though he had never been recruited.

TL;DR: Kid tells town, school, coaches, parents, and Jesus that he was being recruited by a number of D-I schools.  NOTSOMUCH. FAIL!

BSOD represents the Windows Server from OSX

I was getting ready to connect to the Windows server today from my new iMac. I was trying to remember how to make a quick connect icon on my desktop and ventured into “Get Info” for the server to see what it could offer me. Notice the image on the screen of the monitor in the “preview image” of the windows server.  That’s right, that’s a BSOD, or the dreaded Blue Screen of Death you get when windows experiences a failure of epic proportions.  It appears someone at Apple has a sense of humor.

My father sent me this.  I immediately laughed so hard that I cried.  Please kids, just stay the f$#% away from handguns.

Amimated GIF of our Commander in Chief dodging a shoe at a press conference in Iraq today.

BAGHDAD — President Bush quickly ducked when a pair of shoes were hurled at him Sunday, but the protest showed it will be tougher to sidestep anger over the war here.

“This is a gift from the Iraqis. This is the farewell kiss, you dog,” shouted Muntadar al-Zeidi in Arabic as he threw his shoe at Bush during a news conference with Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki. The shoe narrowly missed the president’s head.

Generally I don’t like pulling content from other websites (other than youtube, of course) but each and every time I look at this, it just makes me laugh. A lot.

This comes from failblog.org