TDNCY

So it’s been a long time since I’ve posted anything here and I thought today would be as good a day as any.

Today:
I bought a car
Mowed my Lawn…Picked up the clippings.
Felt a slight but undeniable pang of jealousy while looking at my neighbour’s lawn.
Renegotiated my salary.
Told a local kid he needs to wear a helmet.
Complained about the “Damn Democrats fiscal irresponsibility”
Secretly hoped that kid would fall of his bike because he’s a punk and once asked me “where [my] little Honda was at”
Got a paycut – or a furlough as they are calling it.
Complained even more about THE GOD DAMN DEMOCRATS
Renegotiated salary -again.
Decided my boss was even cooler because he too likes to complain about the GDDP and told me the furlough would not affect any of us because it’s “retarded”
Got ready for tomorrow night’s trip to the next town over to see “Seasame Street Presents: Elmo Grows up”
Checked my portfolio…Lamented the fact that it’s not “Good. To really good”
Added to our 529
Questioned my home warranty company’s competence over the phone b/c my sink has not been fixed.
Fixed it myself.

I think it’s safe to say I’m an adult. Maybe it’s time to go pwn some noobs!!1!eleven!!

I wonder if anybody still plays counterstrike…

I’ll let you be the judge

EDIT-Ok, it occurs to me that this might not be the most SFW picture on the net, so i’ll let you decide for yourself. With new window goodness

Click it up, bitches

While i’m at it – this IS the most SFW pic on the net:

Penis Reduction Pills

I found this after getting into an argument over at FARK about yet another “top-10″ style list on SPIKE, The Top 10 Movies That Should Have Rocked

Briefly, here’s the list:

10. American Gangster
9. AVP movies
8. Kingdom of Heaven
7. X-Men III
6. Terminator III
5. Matrix II and III
4. Godfather III
3. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Skull
2. Alien Resurrection
1. Spider-Man III

The article is still worth a read, and has clips – but there you go.
Now, part of me thinks that this list should be renamed “This is why sequels generally suck”
but I still think it is a pretty good list. However, I have to say a few things about it:

1. This guy seems to have been let down pretty much at every turn by A. The Alien and B. every Ridley Scott movie SINCE Alien.

2. Kingdom of Heaven wasn’t really that bad. I think maybe I was expecting it suck ass going in and when it wasn’t that bad i was so shocked that i’ve accepted it as a pretty good flick. Of course that’s completely ignoring Orlando Bloom who is only good in films where he is shooting orcs with arrows, or (and this little gem was a surprise for me) getting battery acid thrown in his face. I also saw it on a hang-over Sunday on John’s couch so maybe that’s another thing screwing with my good judgment

3. Spider-man 3. Is he serious about this? Who thought that movie was going to “kick ass?” I was just hoping for “doesn’t suck as bad as the first two.”
I was disappointed

I was also going to say I thought American Gangster was okay but then again I agree with everything the guy was saying, so we can leave that on there.

So, what could be some honorable mentions or a rework of that list?
Here’s my 10-ten movies that should have kicked ass but…didn’t

1. Bowfinger – I was SO excited about this movie. I love Eddie Murphy and Steve Martin. I dragged all of my friends. It was awful. Almost walked out…but i Kept it Together.

2. X-men III – I loved the first two. And X-men III sucked a fat one. What a let-down.

3. History of Violence – This is one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen. Everybody else loved it. I don’t get it. I know you have to suspend your disbelief, but when a 13 year-old could drive a truck through the plot holes in your movie, you shouldn’t have made it.

4. Apocolytpo – Why did I feel like if they panned 10deg right in any given scene in this movie I’d be able to see some dude named Hank with his shirt off talking on his cell phone?

5. 300 – Two hours of one cliche after another

6. I am Legend – I like Will Smith. He has not read the book. Neither did the director, producers, writers or from what I can tell anyone involved in this movie. Unfortunately, I have and the two had nothing in common save the title. I hated this movie.

7. Crash – The oscar? Really? This movie blows. It’s all crammed down your throat with the finesse and cinematic subtlety of a prostate exam. Not to be confused with David Cronenberg’s picture of the same name which was actually a pretty good flick

8. Ang Lee’s Hulk – Atrocious. That’s all I can say.

9. Louis Leterrier’s The Incredible Hulk – While it was certainly an order of magnitude (or 10) better than Lee’s Hulk, it was still pretty terrible. The first 20 minutes or so were pretty good, but three things ruined this movie for me: 1. Liv Tyler. 2. The fact that every decision made by every character in this movie was epic in it’s stupidity. 3. Liv Tyler

10. Quantum of Solace – I almost don’t want to list this one as the movie wasn’t bad and was certainly WAY better than any of the Brosnan steaming piles of shit that only served to give us the greatest game ever made, but it was nowhere near as good as Casino Royale which, in my opinion, makes Craig the best Bond since Connery.

See how hard it is to stick on topic without falling back into “movies that are simply over rated?”

At any rate Tetris, the movie is destined to be an instant classic.

oh, and sorry for the tl;dr

Hoax call fuels Pakistan-India tensions

The A.P. is reporting that some jackass called Pakistan’s president pretending to be Indian Foreign Minister Pranab Mukherjee. He made some “threatening comments,” pissed off Pakistan, and now they are on high alert. Higher alert… If the world ends b\c of some asshole prank-caller, I’ll be pissed.

So, which one of you was it?

Read More (new window)

Nils Geylen over at dotcomslash blog posted this story yesterday about this guy. Worth a read, huge toolbag.

read more (new window, for everyone but john)

But THIS (new window) actually made me a little horny…

“Super Speed USB 3.0 Unleashed”

UK dumbass kicked off of jury after using Facebook to ask friends if they thought the defendants were guilty (new window)

(opens in new window)

Hannity…is there anything he can’t do?