TDNCY

To break the streak of dead-beat contributors here (Hoyt, I apologize to you), I thought I’d put together a listing of the movies that I fondly remember the most from my childhood. I’ll post as many video clips as I can find.

#1) The Goonies. Does this really require an explanation?

#2) The Wizard. Wow, this was obscure but the thought of getting across the desert to keep some guy’s powergloves off my lady friend was just the coolest thing ever. Not to mention this movie had ACTUAL LEVELS from the soon to be released Super Mario Brothers 3.

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I don’t know if any of you had heard about this yet, but it happened earlier in the fall. For pre-olympic qualifying, Slovakia and Bulgaria faced off in women’s ice hockey. In what would become one of the most thrilling finishes in hockey history, this video captures it all (actually, it is only the first of three highlight videos, you can find the rest on youtube). If you watch the third video, you’ll see that Bulgaria actually does better when they don’t have a goalie in net. final score: 82-0

I found this after getting into an argument over at FARK about yet another “top-10″ style list on SPIKE, The Top 10 Movies That Should Have Rocked

Briefly, here’s the list:

10. American Gangster
9. AVP movies
8. Kingdom of Heaven
7. X-Men III
6. Terminator III
5. Matrix II and III
4. Godfather III
3. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Skull
2. Alien Resurrection
1. Spider-Man III

The article is still worth a read, and has clips – but there you go.
Now, part of me thinks that this list should be renamed “This is why sequels generally suck”
but I still think it is a pretty good list. However, I have to say a few things about it:

1. This guy seems to have been let down pretty much at every turn by A. The Alien and B. every Ridley Scott movie SINCE Alien.

2. Kingdom of Heaven wasn’t really that bad. I think maybe I was expecting it suck ass going in and when it wasn’t that bad i was so shocked that i’ve accepted it as a pretty good flick. Of course that’s completely ignoring Orlando Bloom who is only good in films where he is shooting orcs with arrows, or (and this little gem was a surprise for me) getting battery acid thrown in his face. I also saw it on a hang-over Sunday on John’s couch so maybe that’s another thing screwing with my good judgment

3. Spider-man 3. Is he serious about this? Who thought that movie was going to “kick ass?” I was just hoping for “doesn’t suck as bad as the first two.”
I was disappointed

I was also going to say I thought American Gangster was okay but then again I agree with everything the guy was saying, so we can leave that on there.

So, what could be some honorable mentions or a rework of that list?
Here’s my 10-ten movies that should have kicked ass but…didn’t

1. Bowfinger – I was SO excited about this movie. I love Eddie Murphy and Steve Martin. I dragged all of my friends. It was awful. Almost walked out…but i Kept it Together.

2. X-men III – I loved the first two. And X-men III sucked a fat one. What a let-down.

3. History of Violence – This is one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen. Everybody else loved it. I don’t get it. I know you have to suspend your disbelief, but when a 13 year-old could drive a truck through the plot holes in your movie, you shouldn’t have made it.

4. Apocolytpo – Why did I feel like if they panned 10deg right in any given scene in this movie I’d be able to see some dude named Hank with his shirt off talking on his cell phone?

5. 300 – Two hours of one cliche after another

6. I am Legend – I like Will Smith. He has not read the book. Neither did the director, producers, writers or from what I can tell anyone involved in this movie. Unfortunately, I have and the two had nothing in common save the title. I hated this movie.

7. Crash – The oscar? Really? This movie blows. It’s all crammed down your throat with the finesse and cinematic subtlety of a prostate exam. Not to be confused with David Cronenberg’s picture of the same name which was actually a pretty good flick

8. Ang Lee’s Hulk – Atrocious. That’s all I can say.

9. Louis Leterrier’s The Incredible Hulk – While it was certainly an order of magnitude (or 10) better than Lee’s Hulk, it was still pretty terrible. The first 20 minutes or so were pretty good, but three things ruined this movie for me: 1. Liv Tyler. 2. The fact that every decision made by every character in this movie was epic in it’s stupidity. 3. Liv Tyler

10. Quantum of Solace – I almost don’t want to list this one as the movie wasn’t bad and was certainly WAY better than any of the Brosnan steaming piles of shit that only served to give us the greatest game ever made, but it was nowhere near as good as Casino Royale which, in my opinion, makes Craig the best Bond since Connery.

See how hard it is to stick on topic without falling back into “movies that are simply over rated?”

At any rate Tetris, the movie is destined to be an instant classic.

oh, and sorry for the tl;dr