TDNCY

I was waiting for my pickup at the Tampa Int’l Airport on Sunday following an academic conference when I realized that there are really a lot of smart people in the world. But, while I waited longer and longer at the airport, I realized, there are some situations that have a tendency to subtract 100 IQ points from these masses of smart people.
Here is a short list of things that I’ve realized that make Smart People Stupid.

#1) Baggage Claim – My bag is on a circular conveyor belt. If I miss it, I HAVE to trample 4 children, 2 grandparents, 3 dogs, and a professional boxer to grab it. MY BAG WILL NOT COME  BACK AROUND. What you don’t know is that there is an incinerator at the end of the conveyor and if you don’t grab your bag at first pass, it will be burned. Evidently smart people know this and act accordingly.

#2) Connecting a computer to an external display – Any kind of display: an LCD, a bigger monitor, etc. I’ve seen more people screw this up before, during, and after very academic presentations than I can count on 10 hands.

#3) Parallel parking – There is absolutely no reason why a smart person should not be able to parallel park. It’s very simple geometry. You put the rear end in, you follow with the front. Really, it’s just that easy.  Actually, I think I could say this about any part of driving.  Smart people suck at driving.

#4) Queuing to Board an Airplane and Deplaning – Okay smart people… you fly a lot.  People need you in places other than where you live. They need you because you’re smart.  Just so you know, for future reference, There’s a seat # on your boarding pass.  This is in reference to where you’re going to sit on the plane.  The nice lady is going to tell you what rows are boarding when over the loudspeaker. All you have to do is match that # to the range of numbers that she reads off.  Really simple. See!  Oh, and when it comes to getting off the plane, don’t be an asshole and try to run ahead of everyone else.  The door is closed. You’re not going ANYWHERE.

#5) Common Sense – Smart people suck at common sense.  I believe that this is where the term irony originated.  I can ask Professor Smith how to find the limit of the space time continuum and the true arithmetic center of a blackhole, but can this man change his oil? How about build a home? Yea, probably not.  The world needs ditch diggers too.

#6) Saving money/finanaces – There are more MDs with crappy credit than any other group of people I’ve ever seen.  Why does being smart make you fiscally irresponsible? Is it becuase you understand what you’re missing and spend irresponsibly? I don’t get it.  Crappy credit, it’s not just for dumb people anymore.

I’m sure there’s a lot of them here that I’m missing and I’ll add more as I think of them.